Don't be a tool like this guy!
Your surf photos are hideous. It’s true. I’ve seen what you call your ‘work’. You think you have keepers – HA HA! ‘Shithouse’ Magazine is about to run your best wave photo on the cover. Your mom wouldn’t put your photos on the refrigerator. Your Surf Photography sucks.
For the sake of those poor little pixels that you keep punishing, I’m going to write down the 5 mistakes you are making. So listen up, know it all. Write this gospel on a sticky note and put it on your mirror. It’s time to change- to suck less. I know you have aspirations, so let’s see if we can get one of your photos up on facebook without anyone noticing how much it sucks. I’m gonna make it real simple for you. If you can’t get it, sell your Canon Rebel and take up macramé or something. Snap.
1. You put crap in the frame
Do you look through the viewfinder? Really? What the hell do you see? Do you see the whole frame or are you just looking at the main subject? Pay attention Dickweed. There’s an entire scene there. What’s in it? Look around and notice. What’s really there? What do you want in there and where do you want it? (Do you know the ‘rule of thirds’? Well you’ve got google, you bungknocker, go look that shit up and come back when you are ready).
YOU are controlling the Damn camera- MOVE IT, STEER IT, and COMPOSE THE FRAME. Take out the distractions and leave the things that tell the story (while you are at it, go pick up that plastic bag sitting on the ground in your frame it’s good for the environment and saves time in Photoshop later).
Good composition is the biggest thing that separates your hack images from the big boys you aspire to be. Look at some real photographers work (not just surf photographers) and see how they do it. And, lastly, PLEASE stop taking 10 frame bursts for a while. You are killing us. You can’t take one good photo why the hell do you think we want to see 10 of them when they all suck ass.
2. You stand in the same spot
Why do so many of you A-holes stand on the beach all day in the same spot and shoot the same shitty image in the same direction with the same bad result? You piss me off with your laziness and your stupid photos. Move around. God gave you legs- use them (I’m not even going to discuss water shots this time because you can’t even take a land shot yet)! Get a different angle. Climb up something. Lay on the ground. Hide behind some trees and shoot through them. Stand on your head. I don’t give a damn what you do, just don’t stay THERE all day!
The light moves and so should you. Think about where the best vantage point is for the light at that moment and anticipate where you will go as the light changes. Contrary to popular believe there is no ‘bad light’, just bad positioning and exposure (that comes next). And remember what we learned in our last lesson. Put cool shit in your frame. Quit flaming out on this already. This is the biggest reason your photos suck. Are you shooting straight out to sea when you could move just a little and put something cool in the background like a boat or a pier or a palm lined beach? Maybe you don’t want any of that in your picture, that’s fine, then move again. Keep adjusting until you like what you see and then move some more.
This is good time to talk about lens choice because it affects your image as much as moving around. Try different lenses (or, even better, using two cameras with different lenses) to get a different perspective in your new position and see how it looks. Good lens choice can be the difference between a great shot and the photos you currently have in your portfolio. Some of you shoot too close and don’t let the photo breathe- Back off, you’re cramping the scene. Let some negative space liven up your image. Others can’t get up into the action and stand back while the real photographer is capturing the moment, and the action, up close. The trick is to know where to be and which lens to use. This comes from experience, which comes from Practice. It can be learned. Photographers that keep practicing don’t suck. Photographers that suck don’t practice. Giddy up.
3. Your Exposure sucks (program mode is for pussies)
No, this is not about linking your crappy website to your facebook and twitter accounts to get ‘exposure’ for your so-called ‘work’. Why in the world would anybody want to see your blown out pictures. No, this is about that overlooked little dial on the top of your camera that selects how you expose your photos to light. You know, that knob on your camera that is permanently stuck on ‘P’. You think that means ‘Professional’? You’re the knob.
Again, Google is your friend. If you don’t know how aperture and shutter speed work together with ISO it is time to go do some learning. Don’t be a dickhead- educate yourself. We’ll be here waiting for you…Meanwhile, if you are the person that thinks they understand it, and don’t, and continue to read this diatribe, shame on you. Your photos will never change and you will continue to suck.
Now you aren’t expected to be an expert right away. Take baby steps. Play with Aperture Priority (AV) and Shutter Priority (TV) for a little while and understand how they affect your images. Adjust your ISO for different lighting situations. Learn more about exposure metering. Set up your camera to indicate where your images are ‘blown out’ (I wouldn’t want to encourage more chimping than you are already doing, but it is not a bad idea for your novice ass to see the flashing of your burned out highlights to tell you how much you are sucking with your current exposure- see your manual to learn how to do this, or better yet, put it in your bathroom next to the throne and study it).
The most common rookie mistake in surf photography is overexposed white water with no detail. This will improve how your photos are exposed by 50%. You will start to become a real photographer and not just some pussy wannabe. However, Let’s be clear here- the grown-ups use manual exposure (hell, they use manual everything, but you can’t get your head around that yet). The more you can take control of your camera the better your intended results will be. You can do it by practicing (there’s that word again) and making MISTAKES…over and over…again and again. Mistakes do not suck. Gimps that don’t test their boundaries do.
Practice using manual exposure in changing light by taking your camera out for a date (you can’t get one anyway, so you may as well become a better photographer). Shoot at different times of the day and try to make good exposures. You will improve. You will suck less.
4.You lack Creativity
Dude? What? Are you going to go down to Rocky Point with your 600mm lens? Let me guess your shutter is set at 1/800 or 1/1000 and your aperture is 5.0? Wow, well aren’t you the big man with your original photo. Never seen that one before. Did you shoot an Air? Do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on? Your creativity sucks! Please. Even surf mags have moved on from that shit.
How about taking a 50mm lens and see what you can come up with? How about a remote camera angle? How about bringing a ladder down to the beach for a different view? How about slowing the shutter down or shooting everything purposely out of focus? What have you got to lose? Your images are already the same as everyone else’s- Worthless Kack.
Try something different. Get out of your routine and comfort zone. Would you rather have 100 yawners or one ‘WOW’? Yes, you will blow shots when you experiment, but you got to gamble once in awhile to win big.I know you are scared, but you can do it. The real scary fact is this: If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to keep getting what you are getting.
5. You’re technologically challenged
Yes, we are going to talk about your piece of shit camera now. The thing you think is causing all the problems. Two words- operator error! Did you notice that this is LAST on the list? Did you notice that this list has been building on itself with each lesson being LESS important than the one before? Can you get that it’s not about the camera? You could go out and buy a $10,000 racing bike and Lance Armstrong is still going to kick your ass on a pink schwinn beach cruiser. The same goes for your equipment. It’s not about the camera.
Don’t be a douche and drop 7G’s on a Lecia M9 and think you are going to be Henri Cartier Bresson. In fact, you don’t deserve a good camera yet. The same goes for lenses. Get good stuff in your frames (see #1) and then slowly buy the goods (i.e. Canon L series lenses). Just keep this in mind- you will always be one lens away from the perfect set up.
The technology I really want to talk about is your workflow. God, do you waste time- Sucking the very life from your computer sitting in front of it for so long. Will you just learn a method of image processing that incorporates consistency whilst protecting your images with backups? Read that again dimwit. Two words- consistency and backup!
I know you are whining, ‘Mr. mean SickShots man, what are you talking about?’ Well, Consistency, in this instance, means constructing a workflow that follows a set of logical steps to process your images.
Your workflow should look something like this: 1. Ingest photos to computer while saving the images on the card 2. select keepers (feel free to delete anything that sucks- even if it is the entire shoot) 3. rename images (incorporate dates and/or location) 4. backup images (mix in an external hard drive – the Pros ‘triple backup’) 5. format card (do this on your camera) 6. process and keyword images (Hey Lightweight- use Lightroom).
People with good workflow have more time to shoot and, hence, Practice more, and don’t suck. This leads to better images that need less processing (you can get exponentially better). Be one of them. Create good habits and think ahead. Have enough hard drive space for your backups. Keep posted on new workflow software and techniques by checking out online forums (Surf Photographers United, SportsShooter, Photo.net, Fred Miranda, etc.). Do it now!
There you have it fool. Get busy. You can do it. Even the top pros sucked at some point in their careers. Get out there! Don’t suck- SHOOT!
